Dear Caleb Sinclaire (Adam Scott in The Vicious Kind),
You genuinely make me hurt to watch. You are such a train wreck. I want to cry when I watch the crazy, bipolar, insomniac life you live. And to think why you are like you are? Jesus.
While you are a fake person, I can say I hope something happened for you. I hope you sleep now and got your life together. And I hope you don’t spaz out at random moments. Oh and I hope the hooker thing came to an end.
Also- I really hope you lost the beard.
P.S.: Please have sex with me.